Yesterday was the 2nd birthday of our third baby boy. He was stillborn on 20th May 2011 at 28 weeks gestation.
Coming up to yesterday, I could feel the tension building in me, the weepiness just below the surface and I was not looking forward to this bittersweet anniversary. So I decided to keep our other two boys home from school as a distraction, I wanted some company, selfish perhaps, but he is their brother as well as our 3rd son, so I wanted to talk about him with them, about the what-ifs, and the imagine-ifs....
I didn't want us to hang out at home, because I knew there'd be requests for tv or computer that I wasn't going to capitulate on, so I suggested we go to the museum. I needed to keep busy and distracted and it worked. The day was busy, the boys were delightful and put up with my extra hugs and kisses that I kept bestowing on them. After they were in bed last night I headed off to the local dojo for my cage fitness class, then kept busy till bed time. Then I read my book until I fell asleep.
Phew.
The day is over, past again for another year.
Coming up to yesterday, I could feel the tension building in me, the weepiness just below the surface and I was not looking forward to this bittersweet anniversary. So I decided to keep our other two boys home from school as a distraction, I wanted some company, selfish perhaps, but he is their brother as well as our 3rd son, so I wanted to talk about him with them, about the what-ifs, and the imagine-ifs....
I didn't want us to hang out at home, because I knew there'd be requests for tv or computer that I wasn't going to capitulate on, so I suggested we go to the museum. I needed to keep busy and distracted and it worked. The day was busy, the boys were delightful and put up with my extra hugs and kisses that I kept bestowing on them. After they were in bed last night I headed off to the local dojo for my cage fitness class, then kept busy till bed time. Then I read my book until I fell asleep.
Phew.
The day is over, past again for another year.
